MAN WHORE PART 2

I used to be a man-whore for a few years, until one day I flirted with a girl at work for 20 minutes and when I started to be a bit “aggressive” and asked for her phone number, she said: “Thank you, I’m flattered but I’m in love”.

That actually makes me feel good, I was happy for her, although I only knew her for 25 minute. We kept talking about her boyfriend and more stuff.  Then it hit me that I’m not a typical man-whore or a playboy like some of my lady-friends used to call me.

Soon, after that, I got into a relationship with a Russian woman, and that finished the “man-slut” chapter in my life.

I discovered that I do not like what I was – it was pure weakness.

Like a weakness for chocolate, money, this weakness is for the chase, the adrenalin rush and more.

A Russian woman taught me how to love total, intensive love, Romeo and Juliet style, no breaks, no holding back, not in sex, phones calls or any other things!  In time I preferred this way.

When I’m with a woman I want to bring her to a situation she will do anything for me, not because I want to play games or because of my male ego, but because of the power of love. And I want it to be mutual!

To Know everything about her, the most stupid things even, that’s for me worth the energy.

Of course, since then my numbers dramatically reduced.  Only long relationship satisfied me.

The tragedy is that I’m still getting comments like “you flirt too much” or “you have too many lady-friends”.

Normally I couldn’t care less, it is a half complement in a way but when it comes from a person that you are interested in, and  who  close to you, it’s actually sad, even when I asked her to test me, to prove her I’ve changed – she refused.  For her I was like all the other men-whore she knew, I can’t be trusted and was interested only in her body.

And all that time I wanted everything about her!

The good guys are always punished for bad guys’ deeds, in my case I was both.

It is like the old story about the kid that screams “wolf, wolf” and when he really was attacked by wolf nobody came to help him. I hope I will have a better ending…
But not all is bad. I actually think I have a good advantage as a “former” playboy/man-whore. I may look and talk like one, but I’m a “one  woman’s man” until the end.

I do not have a long list behind me, it got stuck somewhere in my mid-twenties. But I’m satisfied with the way I had it, for better or worse, I always tried to keep a clear conscience, what about you?

 


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